I'm also a college student. Education is a wonderful thing, but I never really liked the social aspect, rather I much prefered studying to my heart's content, usually spending most of my free time in the library. Even now, I have a hard time making friends, and socialisation in general. I'm trying to improve, especially since I do want to get married and have kids someday, but it's hard to meet people.
I'm on the autism spectrum. I was only recently diagnosed with autism (less than 3 months or so) , so I'm not 100% how to cope yet. I also have severe depression and anxiety. Summer seems to make my depression worse, instead of winter I noticed. I do live in a part of California where winter does not exist. Because of my anxiety, it's taken me about eight years to get even an Associates Degree. I'm used to it, so I just have to take it one day at a time.
CW: mention of abuse, addiction, and other tramatic things
I went through a lot when I was younger. I am the oldest child, so expectations were very high on me; one time in 3rd grade, my dad yelled at me for getting a C in history, considering the rest of my grades were A's and B's. I know he just wanted me to succeed, and he couldn't have known about my anxiety or autism back then, and I even forget exact details, but I'll never forget how I felt. Despite that, I was expected to put up with my older half-sister's (from my mom's first marriage) abuse of me. My dad said she was jealous of the attention I got because her own dad didn't care much for her. Still, I wish we could have gotten along better.
My mom had been a heroin addict from roughly the time I was three years old. Despite that, she would always make sure someone would watch me and my brother when she went to get her fix. She stole a lot, too. She stole $20 I won from school, as well as my "Hey You! Pikachu!" N64 to pay for her habbit. I can't be mad at her, addiction is rough. After several arrests. she finally got clean, and was even going to church with me. Then, in 2009, when I was in 5th grade, my mom went in for gallbladder surgery. That was the last time she ever talked to me. She was left unattended for almost an hour, and she's been in a constant vegetative state ever since.
That's to say nothing about my dad's girlfriend, Cheryl, who introduced herself to me and my brother by calling us "crybaby" and "retarded" respectively. I had a gut feeling she was bad, but no one listened. She abused us both. In my case, she made me throw up after I ate and molested me. Of course, my dad didn't know. She's gone now, but she made it hard for me to trust women, and hate being touched. I also resent my dad a bit. Considering how I've seen too many single parents act, I feel that many single parents would throw their children under the bus for a chance at sexual compatibility. I know this isn't the case for everyone, but it does feel that way.
Sorry for venting there. I'll stop. Click here to go home.